I was reading the book Writing New England: an Anthology from the Puritans to the Present ed. Andrew Delbanco, pub. Harvard University Press, and ran across an excerpt from The Headmaster, by John McPhee. The essay describes Dr. Frank Boyden, who was headmaster at the Deerfield School (a private boys’ school) from 1902-1968.
All discipline ultimately becomes a private matter between each boy and the headmaster. Most of the boys feel guilty if they do something that offends his sensibilities…. A local farmer who was in the class of 1919 says, “When you thought of doing something wrong, you would know that you would hurt him deeply, so you wouldn’t do it. He had twenty-four hour control.” A 1928 alumnus says, “It didn’t matter what you did as long as you told him the truth.” And 1940: “Whatever it was, you didn’t do it, because you might drop a little in his eyes.” He will give a problem boy a second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chance, if necessary.
This passage basically resonates with my philosophy of how to treat high school students. A couple of recent examples: this morning, the gymnastics team at my school was selling Krispy Kreme donuts for a fundraiser, and one of the students in my study hall (which met first period because of the rearranged half-day schedule) wanted to buy one. I asked if she was planning to treat the entire class. (Of course not.) I said that it would be rude to bring donuts for herself and not for everybody else (especially because another student had already brought coffee for everyone), but that I wouldn’t say no if that’s what she wanted to do. She took up a collection from the class and did indeed bring back enough for everyone.
Yesterday, three of my students on a field trip ran off to a convenience store without telling me where they were going. Other teachers told me that they would have given zeroes or detentions or other punitive measures to the students involved. I simply explained to them why it was important that I knew how to find everybody at all times, and all the things I was worried might have happened when I didn’t know where they were. For these particular students (all three of whom are in the top 20 in a class of 500), I think sharing my feelings while continuing to extend full trust to them was a lot more effective than any punitive measures I might have come up with.
