One of the things I have the hardest time watching at school is when a teacher or administrator starts challenging a student over some infraction, and the student doesn’t immediately capitulate.
This situation all too frequently unfolds with the teacher escalating the situation, reducing the wait time to an impossibly small amount of time for the student to comply with the increasing demands, and adding consequence after consequence. What starts as a minor offense, such as a student in the hall without a pass, often turns into a confrontation that results in the student receiving multiple detentions or possibly a suspension. Often, as soon as the interaction starts, I find myself unable to see any way for the student to escape the inevitable consequences waiting at the end.
While I do recognize and accept the need for schools to issue consequences for genuine infractions of the rules, I also believe that students need to be shown and taught how to de-escalate a situation and how to respond appropriately when an authority figure accuses them of breaking a rule. Just as with academics, students need to be free to make mistakes and be given help and a chance to correct themselves. When I catch a student breaking a rule, I start by pointing out the infraction in a non-confrontational manner and suggesting a response that will resolve the situation without escalation. Most of the time, this works.
When a student is close to receiving a consequence from me, I tell the student something like, “You’re getting dangerously close to the line, and I really don’t want to have to [insert consequence here]. You need to stop [insert escalating behavior here], you need to say, ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Bigler,’ and you need to not have the last word. Okay?” Most of the time the student will back down right away. Occasionally, one of the student’s peers will jump in at that point and talk the student into backing down. Only very rarely will one of them persevere and earn the consequence.
If I do need to give a consequence, more often than not it’s an after-school meeting with me–usually a 10-15 minute frank conversation about what may be behind the behavior as well as why it’s a problem and needs to stop. “Oh, and while you’re here anyway, does the physics make sense? Do you need any help with it?” By the time the student leaves, he/she generally feels better about both the course and me, and the behavior problems usually don’t return.
